Yes, that's right. I did it. I had to. There was little other way to let the world know that I was starting a new page, turning a new leaf. After all, in today's semi-voyeuristic social networking cult that I like to call "life," how else would the waiting public know that "oh-girl" broke up with "what's-his-dick?" That "Rudeboi999" is now practicing a form of religion known only as "Other," that "Hotstuff00" is confused about his/her/its gender again? Or more commonly that "you-know-who" is really a closet alcoholic so she really just needs to click Yes and get it over with because everyone already knows she's in rehab again? It's obvious, we all know that the truth lies in the Status.
Therefore, as is necessary when announcing any major life change or reconstructive gender operation to your closest 1,875 friends, I, Shanita "McNita" John, have changed my Status. I have change Myspace Education Status from "In College" to "College Graduate." Yes, I have changed Graduated In from "N/A" to "2006." And then finally, I have changed my STD Status to Chlamydia, just to keep people guessing.
But for the first two status changes I am genuine. Even though it hasn't sunk in yet, I have indeed graduated from the Minneapolis College of Art & Design. The ceremony was on December 15 in the Year of Our Lord 2006. By the way, is it still the Year of Our Lord? I don't have a problem with this, I just could have sworn it was the Year of Our Lord last year and at least in 1997 too. Just checking.
So what does this mean for the future? Well, for the immediate future, it means that I'm going to continue to sit here in my pajamas and Santa hat eating mushy Cocoa Puffs dribbling Soy milk onto my shirt wondering if we had another time change no one told me about because I just woke up and it's after 1:00PM. (I digress, do we ever move time forward more than an hour? Say by 3 or 4 hours? No? Ok.)
But for the "future-future," it means that I will cherish my accomplishments, fondly recall my experiences, embrace my new horizons, and heed the words of Bill Rude my rockin rockabilly commencement speaker (throws up horns) and "Don't Stop Believin'."It means I will climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every—wait. I have to go Spongebob just came on.